18 November, 2022
3 min read
Last updated on 18 November, 2022
I started to work on this resource year ago, without having any strategy in mind or thinking about directions. I had and continue to have fears about 'starts' – so many ideas and attempts to do 'something big' I failed myself because of lack of discipline, emotional intelligence, reflections and so on.
This release matters for me even despite it's so tiny nobody would notice.
This is major point for me. I have met people from different countries but somehow it appears that the biggest part of my the most precious connections are being made with English-speaking folks. It does not mean my connections with my native people are invaluable for me. It's just me searching where I belong and coincidentally finding myself surrounded by mostly English-speaking people. Like that.
I still have poor abilities to express myself in English, but I contribute that more to my abilities to express myself in general rather than to mastering the language.
Judging from that perspective, I can assume that if life brought me so many interesting people thanks to using English, it would bring me even more if I continue to share my thoughts, experiences and experiments publicly.
It may probably introduce me to some additional issues like people pointing out my mistakes and terrible writing skills, but I encourage and celebrate that opportunity to become better.
I certainly don't want to pollute the web with my poor texts which would put shame on me from native English speakers. You can say – 'nobody would even notice, because people won't read your stuff', but now I know it's not true. I noticed people read my stuff and I've already felt consequences of it in a very small amount.
I don't want to be perceived as influencer or 'influence' and even more I don't want to be considered as 'influencer who doesn't even know language he is using to express his thoughts'. So for me it's always the challenge to 'pollute' ecosystem – there is a certain accountability for that.
This release is my attempt to push myself into the new direction, embrace the fear of being judged and possibly contribute for the openness of the web.
By breaking this border to English-based content ecosystem, I want to put myself in waters of greatest writers, engineers, leaders and professionals around the globe and somehow compete. I'm sure it would make me better human if I persist.
The competition in public english-speaking web is tremendous and that's why this release adds even more value to me. I want to be able to match the work of people I personally read and value.
During my career, I learned that competition with the strongest serves me the best. I started to learn it in childhood when we competed as swimmer athletes. I was so obsessed by my rivals that I constantly rotated my head in different directions when we had trainings. My coach laughed at me for that. She was right – lack of focus led to worse results.
When I started to apply to big tech companies like Spotify, Zalando and Palantir, I didn't have any belief I could make it. I know people do it, of course, but not me, right? Some abstract people somewhere.
When I did it and finally introduced myself to a new surroundings – I realised I am truly blessed to meet people who far more advanced than me in a lot of areas. Those people – builders, creators, solvers – do what it takes to perform and advance. And I love it. This is my culture.
On interview with Palantir I was told that there are engineers who solve problems like distribution of food and vaccinations, how to navigate climate change, how to solve in the most efficient manner issues around biodiversity in certain areas. At Zalando I experienced myself the magic of advanced customer experience which was not accessible for me while I lived in my own country.
I was really happy when I started buying English books on Amazon without any additional hassle - this way I could introduce myself with so many thinkers from so many cultures, endless source of intelligence.
So if I ever want to make myself match those authors, I must put myself in tighter competition, go to the imaginary arena and suffer along the way. That's how I evolve.
Things you do and voice you raise – both are important sources of information for humans. When we are distant, one sitting in Berlin and other one in Canada - we can only feel those. I also noticed the healing force which applies to relationships with people when those both sources of information are combined in a thoughtful manner.
That's how we build trust when we don't see each other.
So I'm starting to be a little bit more open with each of you reading my stuff on global scale.
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